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  • Writer's pictureLauren Eylise

Why I've gone M.I.A.

Music started to feel too much like work. I don't want that to come off ungrateful. I'm happy I can do what I love for a living and I pray every day to continue to be blessed in that way.

But honestly, truly. The stresses of feeding my kid with it began to interfere with that innermost part of me responsible for alchemizing my experiences into song. I couldn't tap in. It's like, I wanted to do too much at once. I wanted to live my life, be a mother, grow my brand, create new music, pop up to kill the stage at will, support local artists at their shows, curate programming, travel. Overload. It got too overwhelming. The burnout was too consistent for comfort and my creativity went missing. So I thought, why not go missing with it?

Isolation brings me clarity. Confined within the walls of my warm and loving home, I found my creativity. She was there, just roaming the grounds enjoying no pressure, no stress. She was just reflecting on herself and the many happenings of her surroundings. I just kind of picked her up, studied her the same, and adopted her methods.

So I've gone M.I.A. To turn myself inside out. To shake out the sticky parts. You know, the parts that need more than soap and water to cleanse. To renew the broken parts. To rebirth myself, lessons and transformation in tow. Slowly but surely, I am re-emerging in small chunks. But only when I have something to say. Time is such an illusion. What's new to you is rather old to me. Re-learning time in a new way and redefining progress in a way that rings as Truth to me without turning a blind eye to the 'reality' I live in. It's kind of scary. I've changed. And so my music changes with me. I am changing. And so my music is changing with me. It's never-ending. I hope my audience can evolve with me. But if not, it is true that letting go is a necessary part of life so...

Sometimes, a nigga just needs to be alone. I hope what I've discovered in isolation and what I continue to discover serves the people I will touch in this new chapter. And if it does not, that's okay too. It's served me. And I've discovered, that is perhaps most important.

Sincerely, L

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